JOKEs and other funny stuff
The girl and the teacher
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jo...
The greatest father in the world
Those three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".
The second one says: "Ha...
The Horse, The Bike and the little girl
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bi...
The Irishman's Wish
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer ...
The Lottery Winning Number...
Every year at the state fair Paul entered the lottery for the brand new truck and lost. This year, he told his friend David, he wasn't going to bother and enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?" David asked.
He leaned closer and whispered, "W...
The Magician and the parrot
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did eve...
The Midget and the Shit
A midget walks into a bar trips over some sh*t left on the floor.
Luckily no one saw him, so to avoid embarrassment, he doesn’t make a fuss about it. So he goes to bar and orders a drink.
A few minutes later a big fella comes to the bar and tri...
The mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when
an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives
the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks
away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who ...
The new metro cop pulled a speeder
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.
"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."
"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "...
The Policeman's Ball
The Policeman's Ball
A woman in a hurry to get her daughter to school on time was pulled over for speeding.
The mom smiled at her daughter and said "Don't worry dear! I can get out of this ticket."
The cop approached the car and ...
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