Humor Articles
The request....
The request....
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holi...
The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms
The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a
beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't
sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?" She held
up one finger and asked...
A woman walks into a hardware store
A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge."
The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"
The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster."
...
The company president and the chief security guard
The company president called the chief security guard into his office.
"Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are
making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't
belong. These unwanted advanc...
The new metro cop pulled a speeder
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.
"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."
"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "...
A little girl and a glass of cider
A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away," sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mo...
Boss to employee
Boss (to employee): Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing! Knock, knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
...
Boss n his compressor
Secretary saw her boss' pant's zip open, she tells him, and "Sir your
Garage door is open."
Boss: Did U see my Mercedes Benz Compressor?
Secretary: I saw a small scooter with 2 punctured wheels....
Mr. Schneider
Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my
ex-wife any money."
Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."
...
Drink From The River
A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river".
And the congregation cried, "Amen!"
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river".
And the congregation cried, ...
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