Humor Articles

Family

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodka.” The barman says, “Wow! you must have had very bad day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and aske...



Little Johnny and April

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seat...



"beautiful" in the same sentence twice

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress ...



Car Crash

Car Crash Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at an orientation to enter heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them ...



A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, o...



Hickey Alibi ***

A married man had a secretary that was a sweet young thang, and so he decided to "work late" one night and take this girl to dinner. He called his wife to tell her and she said, "okay, no problem." After dinner with the secretary, it was obvio...



A salesman was testifying in his divorce trial against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's fidelity." "Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the ...



25th wedding anniversary

For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, "...



Adultery ****

There were three guys that died and went to heaven. The first went up and then God said, "You have committed adultery so you shall own a bicycle." The second guy comes up and God says, "You have almost committed adultery so you sha...



Cold Hands ***

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that...





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