Humor Articles
Hide and Freeze
Two men arrived at Pearly Gates. <p> "How did you die?" the first one asked. </p><p>"Hypothermia," said the second. "How did you die?"</p><p> "You will never believe this," the first man said. "I was sure my wife was cheating on me so i came home ear...
A man and uncle Bob
A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from
inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor
of the living room naked. Wife yells, "help, help, I am having
a heart attack", the husband runs in the other room to call...
A doctor and a patient
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
...
Hooker donation
One night in a small town, the church burned to the ground.
The following Sunday, the congregation had to hold services under a huge tent. "Please donate as much as possible," implored the minister, "so that we may start the construction o...
Valentine's Card II ***
One of my neighbors sure learned a lesson last year on Valentine's Day. He gave this card to his wife extolling her virtues, beauty,and charm; said how lucky he was to have her; that he didn't deserve such a good woman.
Seems the more she ...
BARTENDER & DRUNK
BARTENDER: I think you've had enough, sir.
DRUNK: I just lost my wife, buddy!
BARTENDER: Well, it must be hard losing a wife....
DRUNK: It was almost impossible!
...
Machine gun tower
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad
and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "well, I knew that
my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he
actually died in the auschwitz concent...
Parrot *****
A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.
The neighbors knock on the door and ex...
Blonde on a Diet ****
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde r...
Eighteen Double Vodkas
A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same ...
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