Humor Articles
Hide and Freeze
Two men arrived at Pearly Gates. <p> "How did you die?" the first one asked. </p><p>"Hypothermia," said the second. "How did you die?"</p><p> "You will never believe this," the first man said. "I was sure my wife was cheating on me so i came home ear...
A woman walks into a hardware store
A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge."
The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"
The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster."
...
Jill tells her husband
Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, ...
FIRST LECTURE ON AUTOPSIES
FIRST LECTURE ON AUTOPSIES
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is tha...
Hooker donation
One night in a small town, the church burned to the ground.
The following Sunday, the congregation had to hold services under a huge tent. "Please donate as much as possible," implored the minister, "so that we may start the construction o...
Machine gun tower
Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad
and Patrick asks him what the matter is. mick says, "well, I knew that
my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he
actually died in the auschwitz concent...
A doctor and a patient
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
...
housework-challenged husband
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
...
Parrot *****
A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.
The neighbors knock on the door and ex...
Three Texas Surgeons
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a pr...
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