Arsenal vs Messi: A football lesson
Michuki once said that if you rattle a snake, you have to be ready to be bitten by it. And Arsenal yesterday realized just how true that is. They rattled Messi with their goal. And he gave them a good bite. Ummmh! Make that Four bites. And after that, lets just say their style of play was as useless as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest! So the big question is, how would Arsenal have beaten Barcelona?
1) Before the Match, the should have forced Messi to have a sex change and insist he wears a dress and stilletos to the field.
2) Beans! Eat a lot of beans. That would give them enough gas to last the whole match so that whenever Barca players try to get the ball from them, they can fart and deter them.
3) Play without the goal area. Yes. The goal posts and net and lines. That would increase their chance of winning by at least 5%.
4) Have six players sorround Messi and ensure he does not get out of the make-shift jail. If he cant get the ball, he cant score.
5) Park a bus in front of the goal. Literary. And weld iron sheets on the windows.
6) If all they want to do is beat them, they should carry clubs, sticks and all manner of crude weapons and TRULY beat them up.
7) Considering Messi single handedly obliterated Arsenal, they should complain to FIFA and be allowed to field the first team, the reserve team, 10% of the fans and the entire technical bench in ANY game that Messi plays against them.
8) Girls. Yes. Have beautiful girls as defenders. We all know men cant run leave alone hit a ball when they have an Erection!
9) Kill Messi. Yes, I know. Its a little extreme. But hey, you guys want to win dont you? And am almost certain there is about a 50% chance that he cannot score goals if he is dead.
10) Before the match begins, all Arsenal players should fall on their knees and start praying instead. They know he WILL score goals. So they should pray hard and long for God to touch Messi's heart and make him score own goals!
Have a lovely day gunners, wont you? But you should have included Makmende on your team.