Shit we can believe in ...

Posted January 21, 2010 by Crazy Nairobian in Humor Articles

Exactly one year ago, the world sent home a Dick and a Bush. It was the day that all Luos and moderate Kikuyus shared in the moment of watching their brother become the 44th president of the US. Something was amiss though. I couldnt place it until after the ceremony. Thats when it hit me. The true niggaz of America would have given anything to hear a deep street nigga rise in Obama and give a nigga speech. And after being hidden for a year, here is the intended inauguration speech... Nigga Version!

Niggaz, bitches and all mother(shut-ur-mouth), this is the real shit right here! They said no black ass nigga is gonna do this presidentail shit. They said we dont have the juice, or the kind of shit needed to run this government shit. They beat our asses down, broke the spirit of true mother(shut-ur-mouth) but today, I stand here and say, we run this f**king show! This is the shit we can believe in!

I know some of u niggaz think this shit was easy. Men, I have to tell you it freaking wasnt. I had to beat Clinton's ass, and beat one silly old bastard called McCain. Telling lies on me, spoiling my reputation. Thats no way to treat a nigga! But him. He aint gonna mess with no niggaz like me no more. We ran his ass down all over this country!

To the outgoing head nigga, Bush, no love lost bro! You are one dumb-ass mother(shut-ur-mouth), but you are stll cool bro!

To these freaking terrorists, ... Osama ... am'a hunt your ass down, spray it with ketchup and beat it with a freaking hot rod you son of a gun! You dont land here and think you can smoke us to death. We gonna smoke yah out! Am sending the specialized G-Unit to deal with ur crooked ass. Fifty and ur crew, teach that sucker how to treat a nigga!

To my father, dudes, that nigga was the illest in the land. At a time when they couldnt serve a nigga coffee in America, this nigga was busy getting some from a white lady! Guy got game I tell bros. He had her lickin and singing to his tune in no time. He did it like a true nigga and thus America, here I stand. The fruit of a true black ass nigga!

To other Presidents all around the world, if u are corrupt, am gonna smoke ur ass! If you dont want to end conflict, am gonna smoke your ass! If you steal from your country, am gonna smoke your ass. If u make fun of me, your ass is coming down! If you are Robert Mugabe, am gonna smoke your ass nigga! Change your name so I dont find u. Am gonna give you shit to believe in, NIGGA!

And I understand the financial shit the country is in is the size of your momma's ass! But let me iron it out for you. Am gonna get into that freaking financial building with an AK-47 until those white ass experts solve the crisis else am gonna smoke their asses too! What do they mean they cant solve it. They are white! They be supposed to be all genius and all. They understand this shit better than a nigga! So they have two options. Solve it or SOLVE IT! Dumb-ass whites!

To wind up, lets remember those who were part of the struggle. Martin Luther King, Tupac Shakur, Biggie and Michael Jackson. God bless American. He better!


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Crazy Nairobian
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Sanely Insane.


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