The Matatu Menace

Posted April 06, 2010 by Crazy Nairobian in Humor Articles

A situation where someone has accumulated so much idiocy in their head that it flows out without his consent is called a stupidity overdose! And that very much sums up the condition that this Mbugua-Matatu guy was suffering from.



I said earlier that calling such a strike was a sign that the dude had too much to eat for xmas. This led to accumulation of so much shit in the body that some of it was redirected to come out through the mouth. And to show us how much shit he had going, he called a press conference to spit it out! And out came the stinky stuff. The matatus were going on strike!



In my opinion, the matatu industry should never call a strike. When they call a strike, it feels more like the neighborhood bully calling for a strike because a bigger bully moved in. They overcharge us, harass us and insult us. And when the Police, gangs and the council do the same, they complain!



FYI, am not in support of extortion from the Police or the council or those gangs. I will however not lose sleep because the village thief got beat up! And that wont change just coz he is screaming louder than his victims when the beating is taking place. And to me, thats what the matatu crew are. Thieves. Opportunists. Crooks who overcharge you for very vague excuses. Like rain. You know rain is supposed to be a blessing. But these crooks convert it into a curse for the many commuters in Nairobi and other parts of the country by charging double or triple the normal fare!



Anywho, am sure however that most of us had a valid excuse to skip work. The am-sick-and-cant-come-to-work excuse is so stale nowadays. Some of us call in sick so many times that one day we just might call in dead. Or come up with better ones like My-daughters-teddy-bear-is-down-with-a-flu type of excuses. Or the more ridiculous ones like, "I woke up early, came in to work as usual and when lunch break came, I woke up. Thats when I realized I had been dreaming!"



Nonetheless, am glad the strike is over. Its January and most Kenyans cannot afford luxuries like deo-spray. And we dont need stinking people around town with the excuse that they walked to work!



PS: Its six days into the new year and this being my first article this year, let me say have a crazy new year. Love you all!


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Crazy Nairobian
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Sanely Insane.


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