Is Romance really dead?
Someone said that romance is dead. Well I have news for you. Its not. While border patrol was busy trying to keep Mexicans from getting into America, Romance took advantage, left Hollywood and managed to sneak into Mexico.
Prince charming has been thus replaced by Alejandro and your knight in shinning armor has been replaced by Hose. So he wont come riding a white horse, dressed in armor and a helmet. It will be a scooter, his grandfather's jacket and a sombrero. His name is Fernando Sucre (Prison break). And who knows, he may even have a cigar in place of a sword.
Roses as still red, but you have to get really close to the computer screen to smell them. Violets are not blue. In actual fact, they were never blue. They are violet. Sugar is sweet but we cant afford it. We also wont say you are as sweet as candy. Its Bamboocha all the way. Just watch out for slaps and you are good to go.
Love no longer hurts like an arrow through the heart. It hurts like a suicide bomber sitting next to you.
Romeo and Juliet have been replaced by Wambui & Mbugua. Camelot is now in smithereens and Robin Hood became a tout. Just look around and you will see him robbing the poor to feed the rich.
Fairy tales are however long gone. Cinderella got replaced by Didi and sleeping beauty woke up as Samurai Jack. Oh! And dont go kissing frogs hoping they will turn into your own prince charming. Its unhygenic to say the least and outright stupid.
By now, you should also know that the only remaining fairy tale characters are the three little pigs. They just changed names and they are now popularly known as Ed, Edd and Eddy.
Magic still exists. Break loose a thousand shilling note and watch it disappear. Not to mention the two magic words that makes men disappear instantly: Am pregnant. Try it your boyfriend tonight. Just know there may be no word to make him re-appear.
In case you have been wondering, Cupid relocated. After the clinton-lewisky mishap, he was placed under witness protection program for testifying that it was indeed not love. Just sex and a movie. Actually, make that sex and a replay.
Good old thrillers are still there, only they exist in real life. The boogieman came to live next door and "I know what you did last summer" is still producing sequels. They just replaced the "what" with "who". Oh, and old people are still caring. Yes! The caring that starts with an S.
And this article is over. And dont say it aint over until the fat lady sings. Everyone is watching cholestrol. But come to think about it. 60% of Americans are overweight. Why then don't hey replace the Eagle with the Partridge as the National bird. And then we will be saying, it ain't over until a fat American lady sings.