If Kenya was the world's trendsetter...
The United States is the world's trend-setter. Now what would happen if Kenya was the world's trendsetter and the whole world looked upon us to define the 'in-things?'
Well ... Busaa would be a worldwide brand. We would have big neon boards in New York advertising it. BUSAA ... since 1759!
We would ban the visa of a few Americans to stop them from coming here. For no reason. And offer no apologies.
People all over the world would be singing along to Mugithi, Ohangla and the likes. Kamande wa kioi would be the new Jay Z!
Ojwang would be well decorated with Oscar awards. Omosh would be the Tom Cruise of Kenya.
When tourists come to visit Kenya, they would go home with all types of weird accents depending on the part of the country they were in.
Orie Rogo Manduli would be the new Oprah. Lucy would force her way to being the new Tyra.
Corruption would be the in-thing. Least corrupt nations would get sanctions.
When arrested, the worlwide statement from police as regards your rights would no longer be "You have the right to ... blah blah blah." The new line would be "Guja apa nyang'au. Unaenda wavi, unatoga wavi na nyanyago ni nani na gwa nini?"
Do-it-yourself shows would feature topics like how to make chang'aa, how to survice a matatu trip, how to hassle for a matatu during rush hour and how to trek to work during matatu chaos and manage to look fresh all day!
Reality shows would feature, "The Apprentice Hawker. You get arrested, YOU ARE FIRED"
Kibaki would be the world's Obama. The whole world would replace YES WE CAN with "Kumbaffu! Mavi ya kuku!"
Have a trendy Kenyan day, wont you?