Hilarious Safaricom Messages ...
I think Safaricom ought to change some of these messages they send to you after you perform a service request (checking credit, topping up, blah blah blah) and the voice notifications. This is because I realized if you load your phone with a thousand bob worth of credit, once finished, it will tell you the same thing as the guy who topped up with twenty bob.
For those who never load their phone but insist on checking their balance (like the 0.87 balance grows overnight) it should reply with a message like, "We are fed up with you checking credit everyday yet you don't top-up! Uza simu ununue credit!"
Now for those who always have credit lakini most of it comes from Sambaza Donations, the credit balance reply should be something like, "The credit balance (which you didn't buy by the way so we wont say Your Credit balance...) is XX shillings. You last topped up this phone with YOUR OWN MONEY last year in September."
For those people who beep even when they have credit, the message should be something like, "Your credit balance is Ksh 0.00. Why u ask? Because even if we tell you that you have a million bob, you'll beep your friend, wait for him to call, and then tell him YOU WON A MILLION BOB WORTH OF CREDIT!"
The rest of the paying subscribers can continue receiving the normal messages with a few exceptions.
If you buy a Bamba twenty, make two phone calls and send two texts, then you decide to check if you still have credit, the message should be something like, "Wacha mchezo! Unadhani credit ya mbao inaweza kuwa imebaki kweli? Two phone calls, two texts... You do the math!"
To topping-up. For those perennial bamba fifty fans, the topping up return message from 141 should be, "Same" And if they top up like five sok, they should get a message like, "Our system is acting up today! Imagine it assumes u loaded 500 bob. We have adjusted though. Must have been a zero error!"
And finally, after staying for a few weeks without topping up, irrespective of the amount you top up, Safaricom should just use one message. It should be something short, precise and to the point. Like, "Finally!" unless you are from Kibera of course which would mean they would have to reply with, "Umechoka kurusha mawe?"