I have been losing sleep ...
The whole of this week, I have been suffering from insomnia. I don't know the reason why my sleep is behaving like a girl and playing hard to get every night. But while am losing sleep for no reason, a large number of people are losing sleep for a horde of different known ones.
1) Paul the octopus - This one has lost sleep permanently. He was used to selecting the fate of football teams using boxes but little did he know he was about to choose the wrong box (a coffin mind you) for his own fate. If he really was psychic, he should have seen it coming.
2) Moses Wetangula - Nigga went to Japan. Nigga met a Japanese conman called Takuuzia Tafutwa. Nigga bought land for Embassy. Nigga got conned and lost his job. Nigga now losing sleep.
3) Geoffrey Majiwa - Losing sleep due to haunting by potential ghosts. You dont tell potential ghosts (read you and me) that they will be buried in Mavoko. There are no people to haunt there. Plus the Kambas living there are already scared of dying of hunger. They'd feast on any ghost who dares haunt them.
4) Yoweri Museveni - He released a rap song and he is now losing sleep fearing that Kibaki will release a dis-track, titled 'Mavi Ya Kuku za UG' ... with the line , 'Kabla ufikie Kenya jipe miaka ka nane.Ndo lazima nikutukane ndo ujulikane'
5) Gregory Isaacs - The reggae world is losing sleep after losing one of the all time greats. R.I.P Greg.
6) William Ruto - The Eldoret North MP was standing in the dock charged with fraud. He is losing sleep because if he is convicted, the closest he will ever get to becoming the President is a movie role.
7) Robert Mugabe - He thinks he is the top cock of Zimbabwe but while he was busy f****g the entire country, some guy called Gono was f****g his wife. He is losing sleep because the top cock's 'cock' now has esteem issues.
8) Vitz Drivers - Vitz drivers are losing sleep because of the City Council. They will be paying more parking fees in a week than the car consumes in a month!
So I guess am not the only one losing sleep. There are all the above having a problem similar to mine. And of course not forgetting Agnes - The Oh My God lady! That one will not be sleeping peacefully for a long while.