Facebook code of ethics
A long time ago, when Facebook was the in thing, I wrote these rules.
1) Dont invite me to join stupid groups and causes . Like... 'Help Bob find his dog.' Who the hell is bob and why should I help him? Maybe he is such a sick guy the dog just ran off! And how am I supposed to help him find the dog using facebook? By whistling on my wall? Come'on!
2) Liking every single status and commenting on every post someone posts is tantamount to stalking. I feel like walking naked ... Mike likes this. I feel like killing someone ... Mike likes this. Mary joined the group, Help Bob Find his Dog ... Mike likes this. GET A FUCKING LIFE MIKE!
3) Adding friends is not a race. 100 friends is ok. 300 is great. But 3000? Unless you are looking for a crowd to feed with two fish and five slices of bread, what do you need 3000 people for?
4) Facebook chat has an unwritten rule. If you type and i dont type back, I dont wanna chat with you. If you typed an hour ago and I havent typed a word, move along. Dont ask ... Are you ignoring me? Coz I'll write ... No! I just cant seem to find any letter of the alphabet on my keyboard!
5) Facebook was called so for a reason. So whatever picture I see as your profile picture, forgive me for assuming its ur face. Yes. Even that oversize ass you found on google!
6) Keep your silly relationship fights away from facebook. Mary is ignoring Peter. (Soon) Peter feels like killing Mary. (Then) Mary is so done. Peter: I dont know whats wrong wit women. Mary: Am so stressed ... Mike likes this. WTF!
7) Photos. Well, no complaints here. I love the drama. Photographing someone doing something dumb and then posting it is fun.
8) Poke me once. Thats allowed. Twice. That I can accept too. Five times however is sexual harrassment.
9) Use names that make some sort of sense. You can use a nickname. Thats ok. But some are taking it too far. Its an actual fact that there is someone on FB called Kale Kaboy Kashenzi. So what do you think the mum's name is?
10) 10th and last FB commandment as suggested by Pkay ... Thou shall not like thy own status update... Thats like masturbation.
Lets try and make FB better now, wont we?
