Mrs Right Rejection Letter
Dear Aspiring Wife,
Its with deep regret that I inform you that you have been eliminated from further consideration as my Mrs. Right. Its not easy to pin-point the actual reason that made me disqualify you but go through the following and see which ones apply.
1) My breasts are bigger than yours. And the fact that you think that this is an advantage for our children worries me.
2) Your have become a popular fast food brand - Chips Funga to be specific. Some of your consumers even request to redeem loyalty points.
3) Your cooking is so bad even my roaches cant eat it. It was recently listed as a crime against humanity.
4) You dance funny. And that came as a comment from a one-legged guy.
5) Your idea of faithfulness is to never sleep with two men on the same night without taking a bath first.
6) You have a truly beautiful moustache. And I refuse to compete with you.
7) My mother is 40 years older than you and yet you two look like agemates.
8) Your chants of "I Love You Justin Beiber" are becoming annoying. Not to mention the last time I asked you out, you came with an "I Am A Belieber" T-shirt.
9) I was once paid to spent a weekend with a sexually wild older woman. It didnt end well coz her husband busted us the next morning and the guy swore he'd kill me. I just learnt that that man is your father.
10) Your weave has earned you a few calls from NEMA and NASA. NASA are calling it a UFO. Unidentified Fearful Object. Not to mention it scares my cat.