Kenyans and Peculiar Business Names
Kenyans have been called peculiar many times. I always tend to agree because lets face it, we are peculiar. And the area where we are most guilty is business names. Based on what I observe, I fear that soon, with the name syllables' combinations that is going around, our country may soon turn into a comedy.
People from central Kenya, always hailed for their business-minded nature, are the worst at creating business names. Combining syllables of their names to come up with a business-name is the most common habit. For example, if Jimmy and Ng'ang'a decide to start a business, we may have a company called Jinga Enterprises. Or, if Mbugua and Wanjiru think of starting an eatery, we may end up with Mbwa Hotel. It might even be possible to see Makende Butchery if Martin, Ken and Ndegwa decide to start a nyama choma joint. Wazimu Beauty Salon might also be in the pipeline for three enterpising ladies named Wairimu, Zipporah and Mumbi.
Another of the most common business naming methods are the Mama so and so model. Mama Carol, Mama Shiro and all those other Mama fulani wa fulani outlets. What I always wonder is, where the woman has more than one kid, dont the other kids feels neglected? Shouldn't we be seeing more of Mama Carol Na Wengineo grocery store? Or maybe a combination of all the kids would do. Like Mama Carol na Nancy na Cliff yule mtundu anayekataa shule General Stores. Its a mouthful I know, but that way, all the kids feel represented.
One other thing I have observed is the huge number of businesses in Kenya with the word Makutano. If a visitor comes to Kenya, they may think Makutano is Kenya's McDonalds. And with the many Makutano Hotels, Makutano Bars and Makutano Butcheries we have in Kenya, I wouldn't blame them. I doubt there is a town in Kenya worth its salt that doesn't have a Bar or Hotel or even a Kiosk called Makutano somewhere within its boundaries. This just shows lack of creativity in the local populace. Or may be its just one of our peculiar ways.
The last one I will talk about is the outright stupid names. There are people who just give their businesses retarded names. Names that make you wonder whether they were born in a village where all kids are knocked on the head with an encyclopedia of stupidity to ensure they never think straight. Helicopter Ministries, Vako Vako Hotel, Another massive attack kiosk are just but a few. And the list goes on and on and on. Like a guy who has named his shop BUMP SHOP because its located next to a bump (true story btw). This just goes to show the owner's head is just one huge bump.
At this rate, I wont be suprised if I see a butchery called City Mortuary Butchery opposite City mortuary in the near future.
So which funny one have you seen lately?