Men and the Kitchen ...
The person who will invent a machine for us men which we can throw food ingredients into and get a delicious hot meal after some few minutes of buzzing and flashing will definitely become a billionare. Cooking is a headache for men. And dont even mention cleaning. So when it comes to the kitchen, most men use simple guidelines to make life in the kitchen easy.
1) Only clean the utensils you REALLY need to use at that particular time. Whats the use of cleaning all utensils only for them to get dirty all over again.
2) Pots that cooked tea are reusable provided you are cooking more tea. Plates that were used with dry foods like bread are considered clean and reusable.
3) Dirty cooking pots are best washed after soaking them for a couple of days. That is enough time for all the germs to drown. Pots that made ugali are best left for the girlfriend/other visiting female unless she doesn't appear for two weeks.
4) The frying pan is ever clean. Germs know better than mess with a frying pan.
5) Knives never get germs. Germs know better than to play with knives
6) Fried eggs and tomatoes are an acceptable stew for anything; including fried eggs and tomatoes.
7) The kitchen cloth will eventually get stained. Its better to stain it comprehensively the first time you use it and avoid waiting for the stains to gather.
8) Dead bugs should not be removed from the kitchen floor until all their relatives pay their last respects.
9) Visitors will get two choices of food in the kitchen. (1) Take it (2) Leave it
10) The fridge should only be washed if you accidentally spill beer inside. The cleaning should be restricted to the area of the spill.
11) A microwave is a demi-god. It can cook anything except eggs. But we keep trying with more eggs and hope to get a breakthrough one day.
12) Ladies are magicians in the kitchen. So when they start doing their acts in the kitchen, sit down and watch in amazement. Cheer occasionally. Only offer to help during the eating phase.
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