If cars were like computers ...
1) If you get an erection while driving, a pop-up would appear on the windscreen with the message, "New hardware detected!"
2) A car would take forever to start. It would first list ALL the things it has in the engine, bring the manufacturer's logo then tell you, "Car Starting. Please wait". After starting, you then have to wait for the signals to load, the brakes, the driver's seat and other items before you use it.
3) When a vehicle suddenly gets in your way and you suddenly slam the brakes, the vehicle would ask, "Are You Sure You Want To Apply Brakes?"
4) The car would sometimes start and then you realize things are in the wrong places. The boot is in the front, the steering wheel is in the bonnet and the driver's seat is on the roof.
5) When someone crosses the road without looking, trying to hoot suddenly results in hanging of the car horn program. So you hit him, and when the police come and you say your horn hung, the horn starts working and blares aloud for each of the times you had pressed before.
6) Cars would get viruses that suddenly hide the speedometer and brakes.
7) Whenever anyone on the passenger seat tries to change the strereo, the car would say, "Access denied. You dont have the required rights to change the station"
8) Just when you are doing ninety on the highway, the car functions would suddenly stop responding.
9) You would drive home very well one day, switch off the car, then in the morning when you try to start it, it tells you that it cannot locate the steering wheel.
10) If you give a hooker a lift and you touch her while you are driving, the following message would appear, "This driver has perfomed an illegal operation and will be shut down!" The steering wheel would then disappear ...