Guys Speak :: What guys REALLY mean ...
A lady friend of mine asked me the other day waht the obvious signs are when a man is lying when you ask him a question. Well, is he breathing? If yes, then he is more than likely to lie.
This is because men DONT answer women's question honestly. Whenever we answer honestly and truthfully, we get in trouble. We simply give an answer least likely to cause problems.
But to assist my dear sister, here is a few of the most common. And with their translations.
Q: What do you think about my new hair-style?
A: Its nice/ok/different.
Translation: Just ordinary. And if I was actively trying not to hurt your feelings, this can mean anything, from 'You look like you placed a dead cat on your head' to 'That looks like a weave made from pubic hair of a mountain gorilla'
Q: What do you like about me?
A: I love your body.
Translation: What you dont have in looks you make up for in body. You are a cover-the-face and bomb-the-base kinda woman.
Q: What do you like about me?
A: You have a great personality
Translation: You got zero looks. Even Wayne Rooney would beat you in a beauty contest.
Q: Will you take me to the <insert destination>
A: Uuumh ... Now?
Translation: You gotta be kidding me!
Q: Am I beautiful
A:
Translation: Anything less than a resounding YES or similar affirmitives AND followed up by ALOT of souped up one liners means NO.
Q: What are we? / What is this?
A: Why dont you just let things flow.
Translation: I want to hit that, after which you will need a GPS locator, google maps and your entire extended family to trace me.
Q: Do you think
A: Not as much as you
Translation: Hell YES; but I dont want drama. And bedroom sanctions.
Q: Am I growing fat?
A: Ummmh. No.
Translation: Yes. That 'ummmh' was to buy time to evaluate whether I should really say the truth and risk having my balls roasted while still attached to my body - or just say no.
Q: You mean this relationship is over?
A: Yes
Translation: Iliisha kitambo. If even Homo Habilis got the memo, where have you been?
Q: Are you cheating on me?
A: What? So now you dont trust me?
Translation: [ C'mon! Of course I cant revel this. ]
Have a great guy-speak day.
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