Diet From Hell
We started eating donkey-meat officially a decade ago. And since a few months back, as we all saw on TV, we are officially eating RATS as well. And dogs have become a delicay in famine hit areas. So am thinking, with the imminent hunger that is always looming over us, soon we should have a great variety in our butcheries since donkey, dog and rat are unofficially becoming national delicacies.
So how would the world be like with donkeys and rats on the menu?
You will soon have Ass smokies and rat-burgers from your nearest KenChic store. The rat burgers can have a nice cheese topping coz you know how well rats and cheese go together. And of course Zebra smokies will soon follow suit coz am sure they are cousins to donkeys. The smokies will of course be stripped as a branding campaign.
Its not suprising too that soon you will hear Galittos advertising an all you can eat RAT buffet for an amazing offer of Ksh 399! Grilled, fried, stewed. You name it! And whats more ... you will be allowed to carry your pussy along! (Ok. Lets stick to the word CAT from now on)
And a visit to your local supu joint will be a joy too for the men. Kichwa cha punda will be boiled for the so sumptuous soup that you will stil be buying at five bob. In addition, to whet your appetite for meat, there will be available cuts za ulimi for as little as twenty shillings.
Amazing isnt it! After all there's nothing like a delicious tongue of a big ass after a hard days work!
Oh and Bakers Inn will be the place for chics to go. Doubtful? There will be gRATifiying offers at Bkers Inn. There will be a free pie of your choice for every delicious chilli rat pie you buy! Thats like TWICE the delicacy!
And Knorr Beef Chilli cubes will have to contend with competition from Tropiko Heat extra hot RAT chilli cubes and DONKEY Roiko mchuzi mix! We will have a wide variety of billboards to advertise these products so dont be shocked to see a very happy and delicious looking rat smiling at you as you get into Nairobi on Thika Road and a Cartoon character of a donkey with a chefs hat on a street lighting advert urging you to buy Donkey Roiko Mchuzi Mix.
Oh and talking of Donkey Roiko Mchuzi mix, what slogan do you think it should have? Maybe something like "Get the ass into the Kitchen!" or "Ass you cant get enough of!" or even "Let the ASS bring out the expert in you!"
It will also be announced on Prime Time News that the home coming of Agwambo in January 2013 was a feast without measure. Three bulls were slaughtered in addition to four goats, five big asses, two dozen chicken and about afew hundred rats!
And christmas? Wacha tu! December 24 will be a race at Burma and wakulima market as hundred of Kenyans go for the annual RAT capturing festival in readiness for the holidays. The price of Rats and Asses would definately go up that season.
And the parting shot ... ... .... ... ... Men would start falling in love with chocolate. The reason would be the launching of a special brand of chocolate with ass flavor!