Men and Directions
Men always get accused by women of their inability to ask for directions. And when women do this, most men only think they are talking about the usual "Unajua-Father-Kizito-Diaper-Services-iko-wapi" kind of directions. The brighter men however know they are sometimes refering to the failure of men to ask for directions during bedroom activities despite the fact that they always knock on the wrong door and only know so when they are already too far gone.
I am a guy and I know how stubborn we can be. We do not want to look inexperienced in bed. We want to look (and feel) that we are natural born agents in under-cover operations. Believe me, no man wants to look green during that moment when genitals have a get-together party. And this is the reason why most men learn about sex from women they dont mind looking silly to. Like their mom's house help or other easy targets that the man is sure he wont be bothered if he embarrases himself with.
However, I feel for our dear ladies who have suffered at the hands of such men. A man approaches a lady and plead with her to allow him entry to paradise. And after some thought (or sometimes none) she gives the man an entry Visa to paradise. However, the moment the man sees the sign that he has been granted entry (most also dont realize this mpaka waone suruali iko nusu mlingoti) they lose all their senses. Suddenly someone who was flying to paradise lands in a neighboring country and still carries on like they actually are in paradise. This is like going to visit a friend, knocking on the wrong door and only realize you are in the wrong house when the owners start screaming "Mwizi! Mwizi."
So let me give a piece of advice to my dear brothers. If you dont know the way, stop and ask for directions. The goal ni kufika Canaan, sio kuingia misri. After all, how would you feel if you went to a doctor and he tells you to open wide so that he can take your temperature only for him to put the damn thermometer in your nose and continue to pretend that he knows what he is doing? And when you try to protest, he pushes the damn thing further in!
So to my dear men, you may fear to look green but its better to ask for directions because it will be very bad if you Father-Kizito the girl against her will and without your knowledge. Because from that moment on, the closest you will ever get to seeing her Canaan is only on days when she has a visible Camel-toe!
