Expulsion From Idiots Community
Following recent occurences that involved you in one way or another and the effects that those actions have brought about, the board of the Idiots Control and Licencing Board had a meeting yesterday for serious deliberations about your character. The members of the board observed that recent activities carried out by you were embarrasing the distinguished idiots community, most of who are politicians with reputations to worry about.
First, we want to extend our gratitude for the many breakthroughs you extended to the idiot community. You represented what we stand for in very ingenious ways and the board members are very grateful. For that, we give your a pad in the butt, or pant in the back, or something similar as said by the bright people. Distinguished activities included wearing studs to parliament (that was a dumbtastic idea. The other 211 idiots in the house wondered why they did not think of it before). There was also the rolling on the road in the middle of town, again something every idiot dreams of. We however drew the line at punching walls repeatedly. Breaking city council clamps was the straw that broke the hyena's butt, or some similar saying used by bright people.
That was when the board realized that what was at first thought to be great idiotic talent and potential was leaning more towards madness. As all idiots know, we strictly prohibit activities that exhibit madness by all our members because we are idiots, not lunatics. And yes, there is a very big difference. We may be idiots but we know the difference. Idiots do stupid things, madmen do things stupid - or something like that, or not. You know how hard it is for us idiots to explain things.
As a result, the board after long hours of deliberations, decided to take action against you to serve as a lesson to you and other empty-minded persons who wish to emulate you. You are hereby expelled from the idiots community with immediete effect for the following reasons.
1) We, the members of the idiot community, have standards. You clearly breached those standards by going beyond our allowed limits for dumbness. The limits of our idiocy are infinite but you somehow went beyond that limit.
2) The bulk of our members are cleverly disguised as respectable members of our society and include ministers and members of parliament and your activities are threatening to blow their cover.
3) You have embarassed all the idiots who voted for you and believed in you. It takes a special idiot to trust an idiot and they went beyond themselves to trust you and you rewarded them by leaning towards lunatics more than idiots.
We thank you for the years of service to idiots and further urge you to apply for membership in the lunatics society where you will comfortably fit and be a joy to other members there. We also wish you luck in all your endevours.