My Becky Has A Problem
Dear Doctor;
U the last bastard i wud run 2 4 help bt lemmie gv a shot..may b ua pea sized brain might b f help...n-gga gt a problem wt my dick-[i call her becky]-cnt hold an erection 4 barely ten minutes...becky gets soft n eventualy anadoze...t gets worse wen na wank...cnt barely satisfy ha in bed...
plz dr help...
Ex-virgin Killer;
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Dear Isaac;
Despite your best efforts to conceal your identity - including the fact that you used Ex-virgin Killer as your nickname in a bid to hide it, I know your name. The whole identity-hiding thing must be total greek to you considering the email address you used to contact me contains both your names and year of birth. Good one Einstein.
And considering you are just 19 and you are (hopefully) trying to figure out what you want to be in life (in addition to the sick guy you already are), please DONT consider being a spy. You would make a very poor one. You would get a face mask, different hair and even get an accent - then have your real name written at the back of your coat! And below that your home address and of course the exact problems of your sloppy dick summarized in a paragraph just below that.
Lets now get to your problem. Having read your email a number of times, I have to say you really have a lot of problems. But the biggest is spelling. So much so that Horatio from CSI would read your email and say, "I think I found the Killer. He just stood a few inches from the keyboard and murdered Mr. English using just one paragraph." Please revisit your grammar teacher for a refresher.
The other problem is of course your dick. What kind of a sick bastard give his dick a girl's name? Change the name of the poor guy. He has esteem issues now after you named him Becky. No wonder she cant hold an erection for long. She thinks she is a "girl" now. She is frightened because she looks so different from other girls. Not to mention they laugh at her because she stands when she gets excited while all other girls just get manyunyu ya hapa na pale.
Sit her down and explain to her that she is not a girl. She is a guy. That will help her see the world in a different light. As for your girlfriend, send her my way. She will come back a happy woman.
Regards;
Doctor C.N.
PS: And yes, am the last bastard you should run to for help. I'd slap you for naming your dick Becky. And yes my brain is the size of a pea just like Becky!
