Sarah I loved you but I died ....
I went to a village school where the Ingrish teachers largely pronounced words in a manner that suggested that they hated them. The words were sang more than spoken and the result was a disaster. "Thi sisa Ndoa" was a popular statement to mean "this is a door." I tell you, the English language was getting raped in the rear without lube.
And then along comes me, a skinny light skinned boy who thinks teachers are the center of the universe and wishing I could speak Ingirish the same way they did. I was fascinated by the language, and speak like them I did.
And so my fascination with Ingrish drove me to develop a liking for Ingrish music from a tender age. I used to tune in to Ingrish radio stations to fulfil my inner desires to feel Ingrish-like. Now, when you combine young age, very little understanding of Ingrish and music, you get a comedy like no other. So much so that my older sister used to invite her friends over, sit down and encourage me to sing to every song on radio. The
bitches girls were laughing like hell most of the time. And to make it worse, the small demon inside my head translated that as appreciation for the inner musician in me and sing did I sing! The Justin Beiber of them days so to speak. I was a celeb!
There of course was a problem. Misheard lyrics. Totally misheard lyrics. And today I will put down the worst lyrics which I misheard as a young man to the glorious laughter of my sister and her friends.
1. Am very Human - I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston
2. I loved the grains down in Africa - I bless the rains down in Africa from the song Africa by Toto
3. Kiss from a rose on the grave - Kiss from a rose (on the gray) by Seal. By far my worst misheard lyrics ever. I wasn't that young and I still sang out loud. And Considering I learnt the actual lyrics two years ago.
4. As Big as, As big as, As big as ten clocks hanging - This beat is, this beat is, this beat is technotronic
5. Love is like Bournvita - La Isla Bonita by Madonna. This you would not have convinced me considering how much a big deal Cadbury's Bournvita was back in the day. And I was so jazzed that they actually released a song for it.
6. Biggie G - Billy Jean by Michael Jackson. The worst part about this song is that while I realized that is not what they said, it wasnt until around Form Two that I heard the actual words.
7. Am burning up, am burning up, my mouth is on fire - Burning up (my heart is on fire) by Yvonne Chaka chaka.
8. Carry beans queen - Carribean Queen by Billy Ocean.
9. Why're you seeing - YMCA by Village people
10. And to the title of the blog post. Sarah I loved you but I died. That is what I heard when Michael Bolton was singing Said I loved you but I lied.
So there. Thats how much little Ingrish and ears with a serious wax problem can do to music. These are my worst. Which is your worst? Do tell...