And here I was thinking I was bad ...
Having confessed my misheard lyrics that I have sang out loud at one point or the other in an earlier blog-post, (learnt they are called mondegreens too) I dived into Google to find the worst lyrical errors and boy was I in for a laugh.
While I thought "I loved the grains down in Africa" was horrible for me singing it to Toto's Africa, someone actually heard, "I left my brains down in Africa!"
So I went and looked deeper for some more funny ones on the internet and after an hour of sifting through the haystack, here are what I thought IMHO were the funniest.
Artist : Madonna
Song : Like a Virgin
Real Lyric : Like a virgin touched for the very first time.
Misheard Lyric : Like a virgin touched for the thirty-first time.
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Artist : Robert Palmer
Song : Addicted To Love
Real Lyric : Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
Misheard Lyric : Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove.
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Artist : R.E.M.
Song : Losing My Religion
Real Lyric : That's me in the corner, That's me in the spotlight.
Misheard Lyric : Let's pee in the corner, Let's pee in the spotlight.
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Artist : Bryan Adams
Song : Summer Of '69
Real Lyric :
Got my first real six string,
bought it at the five-and-dime.
Played it till my fingers bled.
It was the summer of 69.
Misheard Lyric :
Got my first real sex dream,
I was 5 at the time.
Played it till my fingers bled.
It was the summer of 69.
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Artist : Moody Blues
Song : Question
Real Lyric : To learn as we grow old The secrets of our souls.
Misheard Lyric : To learn as we grow old The secrets of arseholes.
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Artist : National Anthems
Song : Oh Canada
Real Lyric : Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee...
Misheard Lyric : Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze...
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Artist : J. Geils Band
Song : Centerfold
Real Lyric : My angel is a centerfold
Misheard Lyric : My anus is the center hole
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Artist : Bon Jovi
Song : Living On A Prayer
Real Lyric : It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
Misheard Lyric : It doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not.
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Artist : Will Smith
Song : Gettin' Jiggy Wit It
Real Lyric : Gettin' Jiggy Wit It
Misheard Lyric : Kick a chicken with it
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Artist : Ray Jr. Parker
Song : Ghostbusters
Real Lyric : Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
Misheard Lyric : Who ya gonna call? Those Bastards!
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Artist : John Denver
Song : Country Roads
Real Lyric : West Virginia, Mountain Momma
Misheard Lyric : West Virginia, Mount yer Momma
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Artist : Starship
Song : We Built This City
Real Lyric : We built this city on rock and roll.
Misheard Lyric : We built this city on the wrong damn road.
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Artist : Bryan Adams
Song : Summer Of '69
Real Lyric :
Standing on your mother's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever.
Oh and when you held my hand,
I knew that it was now, or never
Misheard Lyric :
Standing on your mother's corpse,
You told me that you'd wait forever.
Oh, and with the hammer in my hand,
I knew that it was now or never.
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Artist : Foo Fighters
Song : My Hero
Real Lyric : There goes my hero, he's ordinary
Misheard Lyric : There goes my hero, he's old and hairy
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Artist : Shania Twain
Song : That Don't Impress Me Much
Real Lyric : I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight.
Misheard Lyric : I can't believe you kiss your cock at night.
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Artist : Chumbawamba
Song : Tubthumping
Real Lyric : I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down.
Misheard Lyric : I got no thumb, but it grew back again. You're never gonna keep me down.
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Artist : Spice Girls
Song : Wannabe
Real Lyric : If you wannabe my lover You gotta get with my friends
Misheard Lyric : If you wanna do my mother You gotta get her a Benz
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Artist : David Bowie
Song : Suffragette City
Real Lyric : This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place.
Misheard Lyric : The smell of fat chicks just puts a smile on my face.
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Artist : Alanis Morissette
Song : You Oughta Know
Real Lyric : It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me...
Misheard Lyric : It's not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me...
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Artist : Van Halen
Song : Panama
Real Lyric : Reached down between my legs and eased the seat back.
Misheard Lyric : Reached down between my legs and squeezed my seed bag.
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Artist : Nickelback
Song : How You Remind Me
Real Lyric : Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you
Misheard Lyric : Cause Little Women must have damn near killed you
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Artist : Cyndi Lauper
Song : Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Real Lyric : Oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones.
Misheard Lyric : O mamma dear, I'm not the virgin I was.
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Artist : ABBA
Song : Take A Chance On Me
Real Lyric :
If you change your mind (take a chance)
I'm the first in line (take a chance)
Misheard Lyric :
If you chance your mind (Jackie Chan)
I'm the first in line (Jackie Chan)
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Artist : Britney Spears
Song : Baby One More Time
Real Lyric : Hit me, baby, one more time.
Misheard Lyric : Hit it, baby, from behind.
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Artist : ABBA
Song : Chiquitita
Real Lyric : Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
Misheard Lyric : Take your teeth out, tell me what is wrong
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Artist : National Anthems
Song : Advance Australia Fair
Real Lyric : Australians all, let us rejoice,
For we are young and free!
Misheard Lyric : Australians all eat sausages.
Four minus one is three.
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Artist : Mariah Carey
Song : Without You
Real Lyric : I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving.
Misheard Lyric : I can't forget the semen on your face as you were leaving.
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Artist : Marvin Gaye
Song : Sexual Healing
Real Lyric : Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate
Misheard Lyric : Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to ovulate
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Artist : Eddie Money
Song : Two Tickets To Paradise
Real Lyric : I've got two tickets to paradise.
Misheard Lyric : I've got flu, rickets, and parasites.
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Artist : Joni Mitchell
Song : Big Yellow Taxi
Real Lyric : They paved Paradise, and put up a parking lot.
Misheard Lyric : A gay pair of guys put up a parking lot.
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Artist : Bob Dylan
Song : Subterranean Homesick Blues
Real Lyric : The pump don't work cause the vandals took the handle.
Misheard Lyric : The pope don't work cause the vandals took the candles.
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Artist : Michael Jackson
Song : Beat It
Real Lyric : show them how funky
Misheard Lyric : show them hot monkey
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Artist : System of a Down
Song : Chop Suey
Real Lyric : Grab a brush and put on a little make-up.
Misheard Lyric : Grandma should put on a little make-up.
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Artist : Fugees
Song : Killing Me Softly With His Song
Real Lyric : Killing me softly with his song
Misheard Lyric : Killing me softly with his thong
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Artist : Creedence Clearwater Revival
Song : Bad Moon Rising
Real Lyric : There's a bad moon on the rise.
Misheard Lyric : There's a baboon on the right.
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Artist : Band Aid
Song : Do They Know It's Christmas Time
Real Lyric : The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Misheard Lyric : The only gift they'll get this year is flies.
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Artist : Todd Rundgren
Song : Bang The Drum All Day
Real Lyric : I don't want to work. I just want to bang on the drum all day.
Misheard Lyric : I don't want to work. I just want to bang and get drunk all day.
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Artist : George Harrison
Song : Got my mind set on you
Real Lyric : Got my mind set on you
Misheard Lyric : Thought my mom sat on you.
Have a lyrically correct day, wont you?
