The Dog With Swag ...
This morning was quite the eventful one. I woke up as usual to do my morning run (I don’t know which devil possessed me into doing this by the way considering I currently can’t feel my legs). As I dragged my lazy self through the vengeful morning chill, I met a stray dog with swag. Yap, swag like you cannot believe. To give you the picture, let’s start with ladies and their big ass sun-glasses. For a while now, some ladies have been wearing shades that cover 75% of their faces because they reckon you cannot see the ugly in them by looking at the remaining 25%. This dog went all the way. The dog decided to wear shades all over its face in the form of a clear plastic container.
The plastic container I figured had something worth munching and the dog must have struggled to reach inside the narrow long plastic container. This dog must have some affiliation with Sonnko because mildly put, the dog is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. It must have struggled to eat whatever was inside the container so much that soon all reason went to the ... ummmh ... dogs. It’s main objective became reaching for whatever was inside at whatever cost.
According to the dog, success was achieved when it managed to squeeze its entire face then head inside the plastic container where the goodies were.
Big mistake.
At first of course, it was a dream come true because it could eat all that was in the container without struggling. The poor animal forgot one small detail that would soon become apparent once it was done eating. It was going to need its face back. At this moment unfortunately, the container was stuck and considering dogs don’t exactly have hands to grasp and pull, the dog was in a dilemma.
That is when the dogs nightmare began. It was around the time kids go to school.
If you don’t exactly see why, let me first point out a few things. African Boys have a love-hate relationship with dogs. The dogs like chasing the boys and the boys love stoning the dogs. They are both out to hurt each other. It’s almost as if they are married. In this relationship, the best defense a dog has is its teeth. And boys know this and that is why there use stones because they do not want to get close to the dog. This dog was unfortunate to be in that situation at this time of the morning because, as I pointed out, it was the time school boys were rushing to get to school.
This dog had its teeth well hidden inside the plastic container. So any biting attempts the dog could make were only as effective as Sonnko punching a brick wall and hoping to harm it somehow. And the boys could also clearly see this. And that’s when the drama began.
Being the evil person I am, I was just standing by watching the boys molesting the dog, chasing it up and down and even pulling its tail to rub the whole ordeal in. They managed to corner the dog and after a few yelps from the poor animal, what followed was an even funnier scene. In the whole melee of molesting the poor animal, God’s sense of humor kicked in. The container came off . The dog was again suddenly armed. Shit the fan for the boys as the tide turned massively in favor of the dog. The hunter became the hunted or, in this case, the chaser became the chased. The air that was filled with yelps now became filled with screams as the boys sped off like matatus at the sight of city council askaris.
I wanted to help the boys but I was laughing too damn hard. Luckily, none of them were hurt by the dog.
And so my morning was made by the dog with swag. I have not laughed that hard in the morning in quite a while. And at least I had something to giggle about as I did my morning run to rid my body of the indulgences of the festive season.
