Hookers Demand To Give KRA head...
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So hookers had a demonstration demanding dialogue with the powers that be. Well, I think if the people who normally give fucks decide to stop giving fucks to demand dialogue, we better listen. Especially because they are willing to give KRA head. That IS a good thing. KRA behaves like a guy on a serious dry spell.
My thinking is, if KRA gets some action, may be they will stop screwing us in the rear this much by chasing us to pay tax. The hookers also have a point. It is a huge industry with really huge players with a wide range of products to offer.
Its actually funny that one of the oldest professions still is illegal. But legalization of the same is not my business. That is up to the powers that be. The hookers have spoken so we can just sit and wait to see if the people in power will rise to the occasion.
Moving on....
My mind went on a journey into the (near) future and I was thinking of a Kenya where prostitution was actually legal and operates like a normal Kenyan business. Yes, both formal and informal. And by that I mean having a large company named Mistresses Of Monstrous Orgasms Limited or MOMO if you like, that does the same thing as a dingy outlet known as Kula Kuma kiosk. This would open up a wide array of business terminologies that may or may not mean what we know today.
Loyalty schemes
I really dont know how you show loyalty to a hooker. When you give her repeat business it will actually seem (and will be seen to be) a case of screwing her over and over again.
Moving on...
The loyalty schemes will have nice beautiful cards where your tomba points will be stored every time you shop. Further, after shopping, you can get an "I Got Screwed At MOMO Limited" sticker to put on your bumper.
Opening and closing hours
This will be a problem in the new formal hooker enterprises. They can start working anytime as opposed to their current late night only activities. This means you will be sent away when you get there past working hours.
"Ngoja, usifunge. Nataka ya Ksh 69!"
"Hapana Boss. Tumefunga"
"Sasa nafanya nini na mimi ni Customer wenu"
"Jaribu pale kwa Mama Doggie. Anafunganga late"
*Sigh*
Flags during national days
Just like the other big companies and buildings, the MOMOs would of course have flags around them during national days. They would also have cute fat Santas drawn on them during christmas period complete with reindeers on their thighs heading north. Santa would of course prefer to be drawn somewhere that he will appear to be going "down the chimney"...
Business News
Business news would become the thing to listen to. It would be interesting to listen as Larry *Farts, looks around, slaps the smell away furiously* Maddddowo reads business and items from the hookers industry come up. That would be fun. A lot a lot of things will be open to misintepretation. Statements like the following would be common and may or may not mean what it looks like at first glance...
"MOMO went down today following pressure from the Sugar cane sector and the wet weather around the Mt Kenya region" ...
"MOMO has become an increasingly good performer and this has attracted a lot of activities from investors with rising interests in its huge assets"
"MOMO has scrapped its product range for clients in the small and micro segments due to inability to hit targets. The managing director however denied calling those clients Sangs"
"The hookers industry has seen unprecedented growth boosted by the Blow jobs and Hand job sub sector in the fiscal year ended June 2012"
News would be fun I tell you.
Advertising and Promotions
This is where cut throat competition would take center stage. Screw and win promotions would fill our screens and Shinda 6969 would be the new text and win. What's more? We will have sponsorship deals like "News headlines, brought to you by Fatuma Mpanuzi Inc. Fatuma Mpanuzi, For vuvuzelas that know what they want in life" ...
And that my friends, is what I call moving from a normalized society to a MOMOlized society. I think they should be allowed to pay taxes. What say you?
