Types of virginity

Posted February 21, 2011 by in Humor Articles
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They are definately a rare breed in Nairobi these days. Virgins I mean, and I mean for both men and women. So much so that people have resulted to using terms like Secondary virginity to mean people who were fucked up (quick literary too) but have decided to stop their speedometers from spiralling off to unacceptable figures.

Primary Virginity :: Default state. People who dont give a fuck. If its a girl, then she is one who can run faster than all boys around her. Otherwise if they catch up, poof goes her virginity. They are sort of a cookie; a cookie being of course what people define as a virgin doughnut.

Secondary Virginity :: Operation cookie-to-doughnut-conversion is a success here. And they soon realize they are monos in the world of sex. Morality issues also set it and secondary virginity is born. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me. Like locking the bird cage after the bird has flown away!

Bridging course Virginity :: This one is caused by unplanned (and early) pregnancies. The shock it gives the boy and girl gives them a temporary morbid fear of adult relations.

Undergraduate Virginity :: For people who have been there, done that and even got a burst condom to prove it. But they have now taken a break to look for that special someone. To specialize so to speak.

Post graduate Virginity :: People who got dumped by those they thought were the ones. They now do alot of research on potential mates before they settle on having sex with them.

Doctorate Virginity :: They are masters of virginity. They have been practising all types of virginity and for so long that they can write a thesis on the same. On leaving this stage, they are officially allowed to have sex by getting a PhD (Panty heading Down) degree. After that they become non-practicing virgins.

Honorary Virginity :: Mileage exceeded. Twice. These are ladies who cant sit on bar stools for fear of sinking and men who have even crossed the species line in their sexual escapades. And everyone knows these peeps are not virgins, and dont deserve the title. But they are given the title just to appease them.

So which one are you?

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Crazy Nairobian
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Sanely Insane.

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