Most wanted Breast Arrested In Uganda
National security in Uganda was dealt a major boost after Ugandan Police arrested a notorious breast amid protests by her owner. The breast suspected of organizing a demonstration among other heinous crimes was fondled and groped by a sexually starved Policeman in a bid to arrest the errant mammary organ. The owner resisted the manner in which the breast was being handled and protested, leading to both of them being bundled into a police van that was waiting nearby. As a result, breasts in Uganda took to the streets accompanied by their owners to protest the groping of one of their own by police. The annoyed breasts jumped around as their owners chanted slogans and sang in the demonstration organized to condemn the action.
The event occured when Police sort to break up a demonstration led by the breast owner, Ingrid Turinawe, and the horny officers decided to arrest the breast - seen by many as a most wanted character - for participation in an unlawful activity. These activities included hiding from law enforcement officers and intention to undermine the upcoming general erections. The owner was arrested on grounds of harboring a fugitive and giving her refuge in an enclosure which the officers took as evidence and labelled it exhibit 36D. Efforts to reach the Policeman accused of mishandling the breast were futile. A Police spokesman who addressed the press however said that the officer who groped the breast was a woman. The question in the mind of many now remains, was the Police spokesman lying or are Ugandan women that ugly?
In keeping abreast if the situation however, the Police spokesman further noted that it was busticularly embarrassing that the police officers were caught doing that on video. He quipped, "These guys are idiots. Am sorry they were caught on camera. I have always told them to ensure they dont get caught on camera doing such things. Those are things you do once you are sure there is no camera around. I am embarrased as a Police Officer. There are rules to doing these things. Everytime I want to grope a breast, I always look right, look left, look right again and I end up get confused because I fail to decide which of the two I should touch!"
"He did not think and obviously ended up touching the left one. All officers are thus adviced to stick to groping the right breast after looking right, looking left, looking right again and if there is no bra and it is a furifuri condition, they can arrest the right one."
In a quick rejoinder, a human rights activist condemned the action and was quoted as saying, "The breast is the most sensitive part of a woman's body." The horny police immediately thanked her for pointing that out.
Ugandan president could not be reached for comment. His assistant said he was working on another rap named "Do Breasticles want another wrap?" The single, expected to be released later this year is widely expected to be a huge hit... at the bottom of many a garbage bins as people throw it in with large amounts of force.
We will continue to update you on developments of this story as details continue to surface...
