Tusker project Funny is back!
It has been a whole year since we last laughed at people making fools of themselves on National television. And after a long wait, the show is back with a bang - mostly because most of the people auditioning sound like they had their voice boxes banged before they started singing! Someone called them IWCs - or Idiots With Confidence if you like - and I could not help but smile at how precise that statement was. I was watching the show yesterday and wondering whether some of those people have friends. If they did, they have none now. If they do, those friends are not genuine. I thought people who like you dont allow you to go and croak your way into regional embarrasment the way those people did. If I heard a friend of mine who has a horrible voice is planning to audition, I would knock them out, put them in a deep hole and deprive them of water until the caravan left town.
Moving on ...
The show started with auditions in Kisumu, Kampala and South Sudan. There were a few good voices in between a cocktail of ear-raping stuff that was at least eased by the amount of laughter it produced. I have always said there are no dangerous traits in the world like being determined AND stupid. No show brings out the custodians of the gate to city that harbors these two traits like TPF-like shows.
In Kisumu, the town guitar was getting shared by everyone. Either that or Safaricom are allowing people to redeem their Bonga points for guitars. There were so many horrible voices there that Ian sent a guy who was average away but had to call him back after hearing the amount of garbage being belted out by aspiring musicians. I am eargerly waiting to hear the announcement that Kisumu United Choir are performing in a certain part of town so that I can hurriedly head in the opposite direction.
Kampala gave us the guy who murdered La Bamba. I love that song and I thus hate the guy for doing what he did to that song. The beautiful mexican folk song which normally goes ... "Para Bailar La Bamba" ... was somehow mixed with verbal poo, a serious case of kuparara and dancing styles motivated by deranged monkey with a serious case of chicken pox. The result was something like Paraparapapapa *Monkey dance* paraparapapapa *another monkey dance* ... The judges had to ask him to continue so that they could laugh their hearts out and the freaking idiot danced away like the crazy monkey he had learnt dancing from. I was hoping they would actually throw him a banana in the end as a token of appreciation.
There was a promising singer in Kampala though in the form of a girl with a purple weave. Her voice was good enough for me to ignore the purple weave. She was given a great voice but a very poor fashion sense. Loose the weave girl. Nairobi has an organization called MAWE (Men Against Weaves and Extensions) who will dedicatedly hate on you.
South Sudan at least gave what I thought were two promising voices. Cant remember the names of the contestants but one definate contender for top honors is Palek's sister. She had a great voice and to top it up, she was brimming with confidence. I even ignored the fact that she was dressed like a character in that Moses in Trouble book I used to read when I was in primary school. She stands a real chance to be among the top singers in TPF5.
So now I have a new fascination to keep me glued to my screen on Sundays. And this is the only time local TV will have me in their audience. It is a welcome change from the local programming that features amazing programmes like Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap and Crap. Not to forget the amazing new show called Crap featuring Crap and the talented Mexican actor called Crap. Its an amazing blend of Crap and Crap, or as they prefer to call them, Mexican Soaps and Nigerian Movies.