Happy Birthday to Me? More like insults galore ...
I woke up this morning and the first thing I got was a tonne of insults from people I am silly enough to call my friends. One suggested that while most people are born, I was farted and thus, I am a fartling! Another said we were commemorating a misfortune. Yet another suggested I dropped from space, while a handsome number expressed shock that I was also born. Welcome to this Monday that has also decided to act as my birthday.
After thorough investigation, and considering the many insults directed my way, I have come to the realization that 2012 definately hates me. Otherwise how would it allow my birthday to fall on a Monday and still allow people enough creativity on a Monday morning to rain insults on me? Monday? Christ! That is the day when each person becomes a nurse as they nurse their hangover and become an ass about the whole nursing problem. It is the day bosses ride the nag and bitch train to work and let you know this the whole freaking day. And my birthday had to somehow squeeze itself in there somehow.
Such is life...
Anyway, I have been wondering for a couple of weeks how to celebrate my birthday this year. Something different. I thought of strippers but I realized Esther Murugi may decide to offer those services which would leave me scarred for life. I thought about drinking myself silly and - thanks to Heineken - a box of beer landed in my house on Friday. Its now Monday and all 24 bottles are still there, all intact ... but empty! Blame the Champions league. Speaking of which, what kind of a team is Bayern? Germans DONT lose a match on penalties. Have these guys read any history? Do they know they are a German team? What are the odds that a German team would lose a FINAL in Germany on penalties taken infront of the goal where BAYERN FANS were? Hitler's ghost officially has a scrotal hernia now. His balls may never recover!
Moving on ...
While wondering how best to spend my birthday, I recieved an email from Francis of Hope Home with the following humble request that gave me a noble idea of how to spend this day...
My name is Francis from Hope Home ( Facebook Page) where we have a family of 175 children from street families others orphans and even the needy kids in the society. we are looking for people to join our project on facebook where we are aiming to get 1000 people before the year ends to pledge 100Shs per month towards the upkeep of our children. reason as to why iwrote you this email is to ask if you can share our page on your fb page and ask guys to like and pledge. we need all the support we can get and currently our high school students have been sent home for school fees and we are undergoing financial constraints at the moment and we are unable to send them back to school immediately. thank you for your time and am looking forward to hearing from you.
This is the link to our project
Sincerely
Francis,
On behalf of Hope Home
That gave me something noble to do on this day. And so today I am not accepting any gifts for my birthday - not that I was receiving any by the way. Instead, the value from such items should go in as a pledge as Francis requested to the Hope Home Facebook page. For everyone else who was not planning on getting me a gift (that's almost the whole lot of you, including my mom and sis) you can also like the page and pledge what you can afford. He is not asking for much, just Ksh 100 per month. It is an amount almost everyone can afford to put aside every month. And if you can afford more, that is more than welcome.
Here are the donation details ...
MPESA Francis 0723-966506
Equity Bank, A/c name Gathiga Childrens Hope Home
Harambee Ave. Branch, Nairobi A/C No. 0240190224739
And that will make this the happiest birthday ever. Thank you in advance, from the bottom of a fartling's heart.
Here is that link again. Click and pledge NOW
