Food and Sex Are Dating ...
Sex and food been dating for a while. Lately actually, they have moved in together. Food is being used to describe sexual items and relationships ever since the terms chips-funga, side-dish and the rest. I thus propose we declare this marriage legal and have the two move in together formally.
However, for peaceful coexistence - and because these two speak different languages - some words will have to be substituted with others, some borrowed here and there and some replaced to ease communication. This will also help us understand the two so that we can know what the hell they are talking about when they visit.
Quickie - Fast Food
Orgies - Buffet
STDs - Food Poisoning
Tomato sauce - Hell no! This word SHOULD NOT be borrowed. Chips funga with tomato sauce? You disgusting fool!
So which others do you think we should define and redefine?
Morning Glory - Breakfast
Sex at fifty - Dry hard and tasteless Githeri, popular with grandmas and grandpas coincidentally.
Carrots, cucumbers, bananas - These guys moved across the border ages ago, we dont need to define them
Chips Funga - You know who this is so, mwambie atoke
Side dish - Guys, Please stop saving her name as Saimo-Cab
Tilapia-Eater - People who "eat" side A, then turn the subject to "eat" side B
Waiter - Pimp
Melons - Momos of the food world
Condom - Feeder
Jugs - Word exists in both languages
Pots - Word exists in both languages
Masturbation - Self Service
So which other words and phrases do you think we should define?
